Communication for Understanding
How do communication skills impact understanding?
Communication challenges are part of most, if not all, conflicts. That’s why honing our communication skills is so central to addressing conflict in a healthy and productive way. Even people who pride themselves on being effective communicators often face challenges in situations of conflict.
One of the most critical skills used by mediators, negotiators, and restorative practitioners is listening. Listening and asking open-ended questions – without assumptions, without wanting to win – changes a conversation dynamic in unexpected ways and opens up possibilities for resolution. Listening well is much harder than it seems. It takes practice, patience, and an open mind.
You do not have to change your values or your beliefs to engage in constructive conversations. But slowing down, treating others with empathy and humility, and being open to new possibilities, will create faster and longer-lasting resolution of conflict than staking your claim with an unmovable position.
OCDR guides
- Cognitive biases and distortions common in collaborative problem solving
- Developing a problem-solving mindset
- Group agreements for collaborative processes
- 15 Things To Do and To Avoid in Conflict
- Questions for resolving conflict
- Facilitation for collaborative problem solving
- Collaborative problem-solving glossary
- Conflict resolution FAQ
Recommended resources
- Having Difficult Conversations: This LinkedIn Learning course provides a step-by-step guide to having a difficult conversation and describes the mindsets and skills needed to do this effectively.
- Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most: Classic book that walks you through a step-by-step approach to having difficult conversations with less stress and more success.
- “How to have the Hardest Conversation of Your Life”: A video interview with Difficult Conversations authors
- Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High: This book helps you have difficult and important conversations, say what's on your mind, and achieve the positive resolutions you want.
- Crucial Conversations Miniseries: This free, four-part video series from Crucial Conversations introduces key conversation skills and provides time for self reflection.
- The Tell my More Gesture: How and Why to Welcome Conflict: Book that helps you lean into conflict by communicating differently.
- "How to Confront Someone Without Seeming Confrontational": This article outlines steps to get your point across in a respectful and straightforward way.
- These interactive video trainings walk you through how to have a difficult conversation at work:
- PON Online Executive Education Program: Harvard Law School's Program on Negotiation's online programming includes courses on mediation and conflict management, negotiation, difficult conversations, and other topics.
- Empathy Set Card Deck: This card deck developed by John Ford & Associates and based on work in nonviolent communication by Marshall Rosenberg is a low-cost tool to help families, communities and organizations discuss the feelings and needs underlying a conflict to get to resolution.
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