A Father's Story

"I am enjoying my time as a full-time dad. This would not have been possible without the Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA), the support of my tribe, the help and assistance that I received from Jill Esch, the Ombudsperson for American Indian Families, and my attorney. Just before I met Jill, the social worker told me that the county would soon be filing a permanency petition and I was not a permanent placement option to care for my children. This information hit me hard because I had been sober for well over a year and was employed full time. According to the social worker, since I could not find adequate housing for me and my children, I would not be considered a permanency placement option.

In my first meeting with Jill, she provided legal information and ICWA resources, such as information on Active Efforts and what the county social worker should be doing to help me find housing. I spoke about what the county had not been doing. Throughout the case, Jill monitored the case and attended several of my court hearings.

With resources and information from Jill, I began to learn more about ICWA and how to advocate for myself. My goal was to spend more time with my children and ultimately to care for them full time. When I met Jill, I was having 3-hour visits two times a week with my children. After I found housing, I wanted to have a weekend visit with my children. I asked the county social worker and the tribal social worker if they would support my request for weekend visits. They did. The guardian ad litem did not. In the guardian’s opinion, I only knew how to take care of my children for 3-hours at a time and having the children for an entire weekend would be too much for me. The guardian said I would not know what to do. I was extremely frustrated because I knew that I could do it. I had recommitted to being a dad and just needed the opportunity to show everyone that I could care for my children for longer than 3-hours at a time.

It was going to be an uphill battle at the next court hearing. I knew that it was up to me to convince the judge to give me the opportunity to show everyone that I was a good dad and to allow me to care for my children over a weekend. I wanted to show the court that I was doing all that was asked of me. I strictly followed everything on the case plan. At the court hearing, the county and tribe supported my request for a weekend visit, but the guardian strongly opposed the weekend visit. In preparing for the hearing, I wrote out what I wanted to tell the judge. When given the opportunity to speak, I told the judge how I would be spending time with my children. I told her what I would do with my children from the time I picked them up on Friday afternoon until I returned them on Sunday afternoon. I told her the meals I would serve, what time was bath time, what time I would read to my children, what time I would put them to bed and what our activities would be during the time they spent with me. I even told the judge that if I felt that I could not adequately care for my children or if my children were not happy and doing well in my care, that I would immediately contact the foster parents and return the children sooner than Sunday afternoon. My speech worked! The judge decided in my favor and granted my request. That weekend visit went very well and I was allowed more extended visits with my children.

Fast forward several months -- because my children’s mother was not able to work her case plan and be successfully reunified with the children (she was the custodial parent), the case ended when custody of the children was transferred to me. Their mother has visitation rights.

Until I met Jill, I did not know very much about ICWA and what the county should be doing to help families, such as Active Efforts. I am thankful for having the support of my tribe and for the assistance of my attorney and for the judge who gave me the opportunity for that first weekend visit and ultimately ordering that custody be transferred to me. All I needed was the opportunity to show my recommitment to being a dad. When given the opportunity, I made the most of it. Many, many fathers are not given opportunities to show that they can be a dad. I want more for them because I am really enjoying being a full time dad to my children.

I truly appreciate Jill’s support and everything else she has done to support me in obtaining custody of my children. I hope that my story inspires others and helps Jill to obtain the necessary help to better assist her in her continuous help for Native families.

Update 

When the father was told that his story inspired other parents, he commented: "I’ve worked really hard and I continue to everyday. When I started this journey, I was looking for inspiration and found it, however, I never imagined I would inspire others and do what I have done."