Managing Our Own Responses to Conflict and Change


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This article is designed to lead leaders to some supportive resources when they are feeling stressed.

Leaders are expected to be the calm in the storm, listening with compassion and guiding with courage. When challenges or conflicts come up at work, employees look to leadership for help and support. However, it is natural for leaders to also be reacting to conflict and change in real time.

Change can be positive, expected, and exciting. It can also be unwanted, unexpected, and challenging. Because change is one thing we can always count on, leaders need to know themselves and remain flexible.

So what happens when the challenges get too heavy?

It’s hard to manage a team or an organization when we have a hard time managing our emotions and reactions to change, conflict, other people and the environment. There is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling our feelings. They are important reminders of who we are. They reflect our experiences and the lessons we have learned. There is a need for leaders to learn how to manage their emotional responses in tough situations. After all, what we bring with us affects how we perceive and react to a situation.

This is why self-awareness is a critical skill for leaders to develop!

An important practice is to take time for self-reflection as this builds our self-awareness. Here are some tips to help you navigate the next challenging situation:

  • Recognize how you typically respond to conflict and change.
  • Accept that your response to challenges is just one option. It is not the only way or necessarily the right way to respond.
  • As often as possible, maintain a sense of curiosity and humility - not only about how others respond, but how you’re responding.
  • Learn more about change and conflict models like Kotter’s 8-Step Change Model.
  • Practice and learn from missteps in order to improve.

Research shows that stress makes learning hard. When we are stressed, we do not learn well or deeply. Thinking back on past experiences can enhance your learning. This type of reflection is the essence of a “growth mindset” and a key leadership practice.

To help a build a growth mindset around seeing alternative options in responding to tough situations, consider:

  • What may I not be seeing clearly right now? Who could help me see it differently?
  • Who might be impacted by how I show up? How do I want to show up?
  • What is one thing I could try, even if it does not work? What might I learn from this not working?

Relevant Resources